Intermittent rain is the bane of my existence — I like predictable precipitation: it’s either raining or not, but every now and then mother nature likes to play tricks on us. Rain will stop, the birds start chirping and there’s even a hint of sunlight and I think it’s fine to walk outside sans umbrella (which I always seem to leave at my desk). So I walk during lunch and then I’m slapped in the face with the cold truth: it’s starting to rain hard, it’s still a 10 minute walk back to work, and I’m not wearing waterproof mascara!
ARGH!! Oh, if only I could get through a work day without wearing makeup, I’d be just a little bit less mad when stuck in the rain. But, alas, I was not lucky enough to have been blessed with full, long lasshes; rosy cheeks 24/7; or even non-crazy eyebrows. Nope, I have a lot of “sullen” complexion days; two fallen eyelashes (great!) in my right eye blinding me as I drive days; chapped lip days; and even carefully applied eyebrow powder running down my eye as I sweat profusely days.
Well, unlike ordinary me or ordinary you, Jessica Simpson never really has to sweat about any of that ordinary stuff.
Do I buy it? You bet your heiney I don’t. The biggest proof is the cover itself: “No Makeup”.
BUT She IS wearing makeup, I bet even my dog can smell this BS claim.
There is some sort of color around the outer corners of her eyes (and don’t tell me she woke up with “dirt” around her eyes), her cheeks are nice and flush (a 5 hour pinch or a prick to the fingers to get the most natural red tint on your cheeks?), and her hair! Gosh almighty, if I also had a bff named Ken Paves, aka one of Hollywood’s top hairstylists, I better be waking up with that kind of her all the time.
My biggest issue is the hypocrisy in this issue (har har, get it?): “Let’s show the world the real, un-touched, un-styled Jessica, but she can’t look like any normal person does. She has to look front-page material.”
But, hey, at least they stayed true to the “No Retouching” claim.
Click for the rest of the photos
What do you think?